The Reason We're Put on This Earth..

Ok..the title of this post is supposed to end with a "?" Make that "????.." Sigh..don't you ever wonder why you're being born especially when things aren't going the way you would like them to? Ok..this may seem a tad too dramatic but this is what I always asked myself whenever I feel down in the dumps. And I have to be pretty much way, way down in the dumps to ask myself this mind-boggling question.

I always believe things happened for a reason or that there is always a blessing in disguise or that there will eventually be a light at the end of the tunnel or..you get my drift..but seriously, I'm sure we're all placed on this mysterious earth for a reason. Be it to bring happiness (or hell) to someone's life or just to be one of the numbers of the world's population. Sigh..especially now..whenever I steal a glance at Fazli, I'll be asking myself "Why am I being introduced in your life? Are we going to be together in the end and live happily ever after? And if we're not, then why did our paths crossed?" There's got to be a reason..again, things happened for a reason. Am I supposed to teach him a thing or two and vice versa? Are we supposed to learn someting valuable from each other? Maybe. And if one day, things don't go the way I would like them to, I should really remind myself that God just has other plans for me.

If we turned out to just be a fleeting presence in each other's lives, I do hope that we'll be able to figure out why our paths crossed in the first place. Right now, I'm hanging in there, fighting the evil 'twin' that raged within once in a while, especially so when we have our couples' tiffs. I don't know..I do really want this relationship to work but at the same time, I'm constantly reminded that no one can predict the future. Of course, we also believe that we have to fight for our future, even if, everything have been pre-destined.

My bf doesn't know I have a blog. And I'm not ready to tell him yet. Guess it's still too personal..but if I do tell him one day, it means that I'm ready to share more of myself with him. And "Fazli, if you do read my blogs one day, maybe you'll finally realised I'm not as strong hearted/headed and unfeeling as I sometimes make myself out to be. I am only human..and whose feelings for you have developed so strongly, she's afraid to acknowledge it...."